posted by: Bob Sleppy

CARPE DIEM
One of my fondest memories of Michael is the two of us sifting through dozens of cassette j-cards, looking at lyrics and trying to come up with something brilliant to use as our senior quote in the high school yearbook. It was Spring 1991 and just a few months before cds became the preferred method of listening to music. We were in 5th period Chemistry and it was unusually relaxed day. Our collection of cassettes included music from Led Zeppelin, R.E.M., U2, The Cure, The Church and many others.

Michael was very well liked in high school. The jocks liked him because of his athleticism. His accomplishments on the track team earned him a scholarship to a small college in west Georgia. All the girls liked him because he was fit, good looking and had an incredible sense of humor. The music snobs, myself included, liked him because he sought out and listened to great music. We shared tapes of bands that couldn’t be found at the Wal-Mart in our rural Georgia town. We dubbed songs off of college radio or drove an hour into Atlanta to buy “exotic” music at Wax-n-Facts. Michael and I shared a favorite movie together as well, “Dead Poet’s Society.” Most people connected to him because of his open-mindedness, kind heart and willingness to do almost anything for his friends.

As we looked through our cassettes, searching for the perfect lyric to use as our senior quote, I stumbled upon what would become my choice. R.E.M.’s “World Leader Pretend” seemed to be fitting since I was headed to UGA in Athens, GA in just a few months.

“This is my world
And I am the world leader pretend
This is my life
And this is my time
I have been given the freedom
To do as I see fit
It’s high time I’ve razed the walls
That I’ve constructed.”

Michael gave his approval of my choice. With my quote found, we both continued the search to find something for him to use.

After graduating from high school our small group of friends started to move in different directions. Despite the 2 hour drive between our new college homes, Michael drove to Athens most weekends during our freshman year to hang out, bar-hop and watch live music. By April 1992 the weekends became quite routine. We had talked to Michael on Monday and he planned to make the usual trek to Athens for the upcoming weekend. However, we received a phone call Thursday morning from a parent telling us that Michael had been in an accident. The details we received were incoherent, sketchy at best. We were only told he had been camping and an accident occurred. Michael was dead.

After his funeral, Michael’s mom met with some of his close friends and shared with us that Michael’s death appeared to be a suicide. Although they were not aware of any signs of depression, Michael did leave a note, expressing his pain and apologies to his family. Knowledge of this brought to surface a mix of emotions that I struggled to understand for many, many years. It wasn’t until my own struggles with depression surfaced, and through help at Nuçi’s Space, I began to fully comprehend the pain, hopelessness and decisions Michael endured alone.

With only few minutes left in class, still sifting through obscure cassettes and lyrics, Michael suddenly stops my search and says, “I’ve found it!” The cassette he held in his hand was from a very obscure band, most likely a cassette we bought in the clearance section at Wax N Facts or some other “indie” record store. He read them aloud,

“Saw a film yesterday
All about the fabulous disaster
Reminded me of you, us together, me alone forever
But, I don’t mind the cold.”

Although I don’t know what sparked his sudden connection to these words, I now feel a connection to them as well.

As I pulled out my high school yearbook to re-read Michael’s senior quote while writing this, I came across his “chicken scratch” message to me written on our last day of school। It simply says, “Bob, Carpe Diem! Your friend Michael।” It’s with this discovery I hear Robin Williams voice, as John Keating in “Dead Poet’s Society”, declared to his students, "Carpe Diem, lads! Seize the day! Make your lives extraordinary!"
Thank you Michael, I plan to do just that.


Bob Sleppy
Executive Director
Nuçi’s Space
396 oconee street
athens, georgia 30601
www.nuci.org

tele: 706.227.1515
fax: 706.227.1524
bob@nuci.org

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